Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Infertility Journey

Let me first start out by saying, everybody's journey is different. Some individuals' journeys are a lot longer than mine or completely different in every way. But every single one means something to that specific person. I am not trying to seem like my story was a lot harder than others, but it was hard to go through for me. (I am praying for each and every one of you that are currently going through journey).


To begin, I would like to give a small background of how I believe my infertility journey could have possibly been influenced (if that is even the correct wording for that). At the age of 15, I had to be put on birth control due to having periods two weeks at a time, be off my period for a week, and then having it again. I was constantly sick and weak from all the blood expelled. At the time, I was cheering competitively and needed to feel better ASAP! The birth control of choice was Nuvaring. I chose this source of birth control because for one I did not have to remember to take a pill every day and for two at the time it was one of the only sources of birth control that wouldn't make me gain weight. I loved the birth control because I could choose when to be on my period.


But Fast forward to 10 years later, I got married at the age 25 in 2015 (well I was 24 but then a couple months later turned 25).
The first thought that came in my head was that I finally get to start trying to have the family I have always wanted. Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mommy. Like when people think of what they want to be when they grow up, mine was always to be a mommy. I feel like it was my calling. Well, four months after my husband and I got married, he had to be deployed. Therefore, us trying to have a baby had to be put on hold for six months (so we thought). Fine, six months wasn't that much longer to wait to start trying. Figuring we would start trying right when he got back home, and I would instantly get pregnant. WRONG!!! We decided together that I would finally get off my birth control while he was deployed in hopes my body would regulate itself back to normal in that six month time span. WRONG AGAIN! I literally only had maybe two periods the whole time he was gone.

My husband was finally home after 6 months of being deployed (in 2016), and we started trying.

By the end of 2016, I was starting to get worried that something was wrong. Yes I know, we had only been actually trying for only four months but I only had I believe one period in that four month span when he was home. So therefore, at the end of February of 2017, I finally went to my gynecologist to see if I could get some answers. At this point, it has been a full year of being off birth control and only had a handful of periods in a year. The first thing my NP did was to do a test to even see if I was ovulating. So guess what, I wasn't ovulating at all and barely having periods. She diagnosed me with unexplained infertility as she did not know what was causing me to not ovulate or have periods. I swore it was because I was on birth control for 10 years but she said it had nothing to do with that.

The next step was to put me on three rounds of fertility medication. We started with provera first, to help bring on a draw bleed (fake period) in hopes to regulate my body again to have a period on its own. The first time I took the provera, sure enough it helped bring on a draw bleed about 5-7 days after taking the last pill. {Side note: I took provera for 5 days each time} Since that was successful, we then in April of 2017 decided to do provera again, and add three rounds of Clomid. Meaning April was our first round. {Another Side note: I had to go into the office every 21 days to see if I ovulated once the rounds of Clomid started}Unfortunately the first round of clomid did not work. When I got the call that I did not ovulate, I was so devastated. I remember bawling my eyes out when I took my first clomid pill because I was finally given hope that I would become a mommy soon. When they told me it didn't work the first round, I told myself well maybe I am not meant to carry my own children.



In May of 2017, I was told I had precancerous cells on my cervix and needed to have a procedure done to remove them. My cells were at the final stages before they turned to cancer. So it was highly urgent to get them removed. Once again, they said this had nothing to do with my infertility since they were on the outside of my cervix. Because of this, us trying had to be put on hold once again.

Now in July of 2017, we got the clear to start trying again. So I took my second round of clomid.

Yall, it finally worked-- I ovulated. 
I was so ecstatic because this would probably mean I would be pregnant this month. WRONG!!! When it was time to test, I got a big fat NEGATIVE! Frustrated once again, especially since I had one more chance to get pregnant on fertility medicine before they would send me to a fertility specialist. At this point, I had taken three rounds of provera and that was all they wanted me to take.

So now in August of 2017, I had to start my period on my own and I had one more round of clomid  to take. {Another Side Note: I was so hoping I was pregnant this month but I started my period the day of my brother in law and sister in law's wedding--while I was getting ready with all of the bridesmaids, I started my period... Bummer. But hey I started on my own, so that was a plus right???}
I took my last round of clomid, I ovulated once again. When it was time to take a pregnancy test (at this point I have taken around 40 pregnancy tests that were all negative) I was expecting it to be negative because at this point it would be right? And once again it was negative. Ugh!! I was so mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. Could my heart take this much longer?


Probably 4 days later (September 2017) I decided to take another test since we were leaving for Ireland later that evening. It was our anniversary trip and what better way to take announcement pictures was in Ireland on our 2 year anniversary trip. Expecting it to be negative once again, I completely forgot about the test while I was getting ready for work. I happened to go back in the bathroom one more time before I went out the door, and in total complete shock it say PREGNANT. I was hysterically crying and could not fathom it said PREGNANT. It did not feel real and felt like a complete dream.



Ireland was even more of a magical vacation because I was carrying a little miracle inside of me. Like I said every journey is different, and means something to that individual person. It took us 13 months to be blessed with this miracle, and I am so thankful I finally have this miracle in my life. He is truly a little blessing.






{I did not tell anyone that whole day not even my husband until right before we left on our trip. I actually filmed his reaction and bits and pieces of my infertility journey. I plan on editing a special video of my journey of becoming a mommy/my husband and I becoming parents and uploading it sometime next week. I will link the video in next week's blog post.}

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